The other day sitting with my friend, Susan Ginsberg O'Sullivan, we were talking about resolving conflicts via the internet and what came up was an interesting case study on how we all communicate.
We have all had times when our gut reaction to defend ourself or show emotion is easily done through an email letter—however as we also know there are many repercussions that we most always regret after we hit the 'send' button.
At first it is very cathartic to get our feelings out and say whatever we are thinking-however by doing ourself the favor of not hitting the send button will result in us still feeling ok and just letting it go.
Of course, easier said then done–and like any verbal argument or heated discussion, we often say things we later regret.
So– as I mention in workshops on Communications– it is a good practice in almost any form of communication that you are writing to someone to first put it into a word document and then re-read it and put yourself in the recipient's shoes. How will they feel and react when they receive this. Often, we will rewrite it before we send it and we are very glad we did.
When it comes to a message that you know you are 'letting off steam' or saying things that could be hurtful or taken the wrong way from someone else—go ahead write the letter–get your feelings out —just be sure that instead of hitting the 'send' button, you hit 'delete'.
You will feel better in the long run!
Susan Ginsberg O'Sullivan is an an award-winning marketing and communications executive with experience in strategic planning, digital marketing, brand management and new product launches in both b-to-b and b-to-c enterprises large and small. I have known her from when I was selling advertising the direct marketing industry many years ago and she was an executive at New York Magazine and Viacom. If you or someone you know is looking for a top notch marketing professional either full time or as a consultant, reach out to Susan at
[email protected] –she is the real deal!
This is so true. It’s similar to “Jerry Maguire” syndrome.
If you don’t have terrific sense of appropriate business communication, then it is best to get a 2nd opinion from a safe & reliable associate before sending it off to a customer/buyer/perspective business contact.
This can’t be said enough, Andrea. We all know that “when I’m right, I’m right and I’m gonna say so!” instinct but often in business it’s better to be seen as wrong and graceful rather than correct and brutish.
If you just can’t word what you’d like to say in a way that leaves communication open for the next time, better to walk away, think about it and find the right way to say it. One might think he’s only losing one client or contact with a nasty message, but word gets around and that saying about six degrees of separation has merit. You don’t know who else might see that nasty communication. Better not to tarnish your reputation with a domino effect.
Thanks for another good read.